Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Bowing to the Psychiatrist

Look at that smile! This is my beautiful daughter, heading for a party on her 23rd birthday.
She's on the top-10 list of reasons why my life is so blessed. She has a good job, and a fine man, hopes in her heart, and gifts she has only begun to explore. She has her hurts, but she has her faith, too.
Milo is her name, and she was raised in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.
She knows all the slogans by heart, and her intuition is strong.
She came by the house last night to share a song that made her think of me. I was sitting with my husband and an old-timer AA woman who were both helping me make arrangements to go for psychiatric help.
God sometimes sends us out to be the Big Book in some needy person's life. Last night, Milo was my Big Book, reminding me to be honest, trust God, and wait patiently for His help. She cried a little, hugged me a lot, and practiced the principles of courage, faith, and tenderness with those who are hurting.
I have tried all the years of her life to be the mother whose love is abiding, forgiving, encouraging, and strong. I have tried all these years to be the mother I didn't have. She says I have succeeded. And while she is afraid of my mental illness, she believes in my sobriety, and she knows recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous will pull us through, no matter what we face.
No matter what we face, we don't have to give up, give in to the compulsion, and be the failures we used to be. The 12 Steps change us. They give us an all-powerful God who can carry us easily in His arms when we're too weak to take another step.
Sometimes that God makes us an instrument of peace in another person's life, if we're willing to be used. He makes music in us, no matter how decrepit we might be, that sings hope into another's heart.
I have to go pack a bag and drive to Santa Barbara for help with my medical condition. But if she should read this post today, I want to leave her with a message: The future awaits us, one day at a time. It is good. We are loved. We can make a difference in someone else's life, if we just reach out a hand in a time of need.


Gin said...

She is beautiful and this was beautiful!!!!

lakeviewer said...

Her smile is telling. She is a strong, bright and caring daughter. You are a lucky mom. Good luck on your journey. You've got lots of people rooting for you.

Steve E. said...

You are a source of strength for me today, Chris. This is a quote I read today in "God Calling"...the Speaker is God: "

Rejoice at your weakness, My children. My strength is made perfect in weakness. When you are weak then I am strong. Strong to help, to cure, to protect."


clean and crazy said...

very powerful post, i love your message of hope, faith and family.

Syd said...

Ah Chris, I am glad that such a wonderful daughter and so many people love and care about you. I wish you the best with your medical condition. I know how hard that can be. I'm thinking of you.

Karen said...

{{Chris}} - that means hugs in blogland! I'm sending you hugs and prayers and good, good wishes for recovery. Bless your daughter and husband, too. Blessings.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Amazing post! I am sending you the best healing vibes that I can...I hope that the help you recieve is that what you need. Medical conditions are difficult, I do understand and there are many here in the blogosphere who care!

Your daughter is gorgeous and you see that in the picture that her insides and her soul is what beams her spirit outward!


Glynis said...

What a gorgeous smile, a pretty woman indeed.
How lovely she supports you.

Monkey Man said...

You are blessed. Tell me, what qualifies as an old timer in your neck of the woods?

Hope said...

Hugs to you across the miles Chris.

Tall Kay said...

You're in my prayers sunshine. Your daughter looks just like you. Get well soon so I can come visit you, okay? God's healing touch is with you. Big hugs.

Steve E. said...

Chris, tell Monkey Man an old-timer is one who doesn't drink, and doesn't die.

Please, wherever you go, and whatever concerns you, please go armed with knowledge that many here support you, love you, pray for you, and certainly cannot forget you and your wonderful contributions here.


enchantedoak said...

Steve, here in my neck of the woods an old-timer is someone who's been sober more than 20 years. I don't know if there's a rule about this or not. Anybody care to comment?