I’ve walked the earth this week empty headed.
One day, when I looked at my dog Riley as he gazed thoughtfully out the window of my sunroom, I got the impression that he had more thoughts in his head than he could think at one time. So he was letting them float through his mind like highway signs:
Look at that cat across the street. If it comes over here I will bark at it. The sun feels good on my head. Where’s Dad? Dog biscuits. Yum. I wonder what it’s like to play a tuba. When I get out, I’m going to pee on that bush.
And there I was, nary a thought in my mind. I was just humming, that incessant, repetitive refrain:
Hm HM hm-hm hm-hm hmmm. Hm HM hm-hm hm HM hm-hm. HM hm HM hm hm hm hm.
This is otherwise known as: “I AM Jesus little lamb. EVER glad at heart I am. For MY Shepherd gentLY guides me. Knows MY needs and well PROvides me. LOVES me every day the same. eVEN calls ME by my name.” It’s one of the first hymns I learned, #648 in the old Lutheran Hymnal, by Henriette von Hayn, in the year of our Lord 1784.
A sweet little song, but imagine humming it over and over for FIVE DAYS.
While my dog ponders the universe, I’m a broken record with a 225-year-old kiddie tune.
I’m getting ready to leave tomorrow for a weekend writers conference. All week I’ve been a doer, not a thinker, taking care of household business, hanging out with my daughters (my eldest, Annika, is visiting again), looking at old photos, being with my kids while they process the death of their grandmother.
Even my cat thinks more than I do these days. Look at this face.
See the wonder? The curiosity? I believe she’s having an internal debate about existentialism versus determinism, and existentialism is winning. Can’t you just see Descartes in her eyes? I THINK, THEREFORE I AM.