Saturday, March 20, 2010

Vertigo and Other Pleasures


It is the first day of spring. Hallelujah!

A sassy blogger with the pen name Fickle in Pink passed on the Beautiful Blogger award to me, and it has taken me almost a week to think of the requisite seven personal facts someone might be interested to know.

1. I once rode in a hot-air balloon race in Albuquerque just because I wanted to write a magazine article about a day in the life of a hot-air balloon pilot. I’m deathly afraid of heights, so this was a personal challenge. We didn’t win the race, but I loved the ride and got a good story out of it.

2. Yesterday morning I suffered a severe attack of dizziness and illness, and I decided that I probably had suffered a stroke or had a brain tumor. (I regularly catastrophize.) My doctor did a few tests and announced I only suffered from vertigo. I was mightily relieved. It was nice to know I wasn’t going to die yet.

3. Speaking of dying, I’ve planned my funeral, gathered my favorite music and photos for a PowerPoint presentation, and written my final words in an essay to be read at the celebration of my life. It’s actually in a file folder on my desk right now. It was fun to do, and my therapist says it’s wise, not morbid.

4. Childhood was traumatic for me. I ran away from home the first time when I was three years old, just put some things in a paper sack and toddled away. My mother stood there and watched. When I didn’t come home, she ran after me and brought me back. I left home again when I was 15, 16, and 17. When my father stopped beating me with his belt, I stopped running away. My childhood made me a better mother.

5. On the surface, I’m a cigarette-smoking, espresso-drinking poet and drug addict alcoholic in recovery. Underneath the surface, I’m a devout Christian feminist poet and drug addict in recovery who smokes too much and exercises too little. I think God has been very good to me.

6. I thank God every day for my life, my husband, and my recovery. I believe that an attitude of gratitude is the most powerful force in my life.

7. I sing when I’m alone. “Your Cheatin’ Heart” is one of my favorites. Old gospel tunes are another. Do you sing when you’re alone?

The Beautiful Blogger award moves on now. I want to pass it on to my blogging friend Kim at One Day at a Time. The lady is thoughtful, wise, smart, and a lovely writer. Please go say hello and see what I mean.


~~~~~

22 comments:

the walking man said...

all seven things speak to overcoming something that had beset you. the good life is yours now for the taking Chris.

Garnet said...

You and Kim are two of my favorites. Well deserved. :)
This post reminded me... I know I'm an Al-Anon qualifier when... I daydream about planning my KID's funerals. Oh, I assume they'll be 90 when they die, I just think how nice it would be to hear from their dear old (dead) mum at that point. You know, a few slides, a few words about what lovely children they were. How often do you get to hear the mum's perspective in a funeral for adults? A eulogy from the grave. Wouldn't that be cool?
Then I shake myself and the thought passes. Everyone has thoughts like this don't they? No? OH. Back to my meetings. Grin.

Scott said...

something about you touches me... I'm really glad we've become blogging friends... I enjoy your blog very much, even if I lack the time to come visit daily.

Mary LA said...

I also sing when I'm alone. Sappy country & western quite often --

Susan said...

This was a great collection of things that contribute to you being you. Thanks for sharing!

TechnoBabe said...

It took alot of nerve for you to ride in the hot air balloon. Sounds like it was fun and a good experience for you. Sorry to hear of the vertigo problem. Hope the doctor is helping you eliminate that. You must be a super organized person to have all the details planned for your funeral. I have told my hubby just cremate the body and notify those who need to know. Your childhood interests me and your sense of self preservation at a young age. I like how you differentiate between you the person on the surface and you person within. Here's a hug for the gutsy woman within!

Prayer Girl said...

I had a light case of vertigo two weeks ago. I could drive, but had to cut activities way back as I swayed a little when I walked. Hate vertigo - no fun.

Congratulations on this award.

I used to sing to myself all the time - not so much anymore. I guess my mind is involved in other pursuits. :)

PG

Georgina said...

Congratulations on the award! I love these notes about yourself, although I don't think I could do the hot air balloon thing - props to you for setting aside your fear of heights. Ialso love the one about planning your funeral. I think it is one of the most loving things to do for our families and takes the stress away from them in their time of grief. Good thing for getting the vertigo checked out. Sometimes just knowing what is going on can make you feel a bit better. - G

Melissa Greene, LPC-MHSP said...

Correction-- on the surface, you rock! Thanks for being a fabulous woman.

Brian Miller said...

love your 7 things...the hot air balloon ride sounds cool...glad it was a passing spell...it pays to look deeper...congrats on the award!

Kim A. said...

I didn't see that one coming :-D Okay..I'm off to ponder my prose.

(I'd take vertigo over death any day)

♥namaste♥

Dianne said...

Look up benign positional vertigo. If it continues see a physical therapist who treats the canals in your ears.
eadefyin, (word verification)
Di

chitowngreg said...

A Beautiful Blogger Award to a beautiful blogger! Have a good weekend!!!

Magpie said...

Congratulations on the award! Well deserved.
I enjoyed your list...sad about your childhood, but happy you found strength and kindness from it.
I ONLY sing alone...no one else could stand to hear me. :)

Anonymous said...

I wish you were my neighbor. :)

sarah said...

I read this list...smiled and thought...I really like this lady...yep....you are totally read...and cool....have an awesome weekend ok. Sarah

Monkey Man said...

Interesting point about leaving final words to be read at a gathering. Found some writing from my Mom in a drawer this morning and will see if there are stories to tell at her service from that. I like your idea.

Steve E said...

Had vertigo several times in past few years. Once it put me in bed for two whole daze! Really bad. I hear it CAN kill you if it strikes hard while you'redriving a car!

Like your list...much! When I'm alone--and sometimes when NOT!--I whistle, anything from symphonies stuff, opras, to show tunes galore.

And we keep trudging this road in sobriety, which has lost its boredom, and regained its excitement

Secretia said...

All the sad old country songs are like spiritual food to me!

C.M. Jackson said...

how wonderful for you to be recognized--I truly enjoy your blog and believe that you have conquered many things--as the walking man said--the good life awaits you--peace-c

Syd said...

Chris, these are awesome to read. I too have arranged my funeral, taking a cue from my mother who had her obituary written and the service planned long before she died. I do sing when I'm alone or with my wife. We do duets together and laugh.

Marla said...

Love your list!!

Albert Einstein Quotes