I’m disconcerted. The season changed today. That abruptly. Yesterday it was over 90 degrees here. This morning at 6:30, the sun hadn’t dawned yet. Autumn happened overnight.
This has been the strangest season. The weather was odd, cooler than usual. The roses bloomed all spring and summer long, not taking their customary July and August break. The dahlias don’t know what to do. Every single one of the two-year-olds looks like crap. Only the hardiest of old faithfuls thrived. I made a choice back in June: Not once did I fertilize. “You’re fending for yourselves,” I told them. “Do your best.”
I’m a competitive gardener. I tend flowers carefully so I can enter them in the regional fair each year. This year, when I looked at the entry forms in June, I had a strong premonition, precognition, intuition—it told me to take a break. My mother started dying during the 10-day fair.
I’m thankful that I have flowers at all.
Today I’m hopping on the Totalfeckineegit’s Poetry Bus (go here for the tour). Our task is weddings, not the weather. Yesterday I edited my entire manuscript of poems and discovered not one sweet love poem in it, although there is a sexy poem about the weather.
So I wrote a poem suitable for speaking at a wedding, if it were my wedding and not your wedding.
I don’t love you as your dog loves you with mindless devotion I love you with every firing synapse relishing your humanity aware of my own
I don’t love you as your daughter loves you with blinding need I love you with passion on purpose and I choose you with eyes wide open
I don’t love you as your mother loves you with future hopes I love you with a blend of flesh and mystical not-flesh exactly as you are.
I love you with the ferocity of lions with the immensity of space My love for you is immeasurable forever, amen.
I'm a poet, gardener, and freelance writer who lives in California by the coast, in a small town surrounded by pastures, woods, and vineyards. Other things I am: recovering LA magazine editor and recovering alcoholic, wife of a tolerant man, mom to two beautiful daughters, mistress of beagles and cats, lover of mysteries and photography, a survivor of suicide, depression, addiction, and sundry minor ailments. I write for a living and write poetry for life.
Here's a free psychology-based personality test, thorough and intriguing, developed by some creative academic types. The test is anonymous and it doesn't result in spam flooding your inbox. Nobody's paying me to tell you about it. They don't even know I'm telling you about it. In fact, this message will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.” (Art Linkletter)
We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. (John W. Gardner)
Survival Tip #19
My strength lies solely in my tenacity. (Louis Pasteur)
I'm a recovering Lutheran
"This life therefore is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it, the process is not yet finished, but it is going on, this is not the end, but it is the road." (Martin Luther)
A Philosophy of Life
“It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible.” Samuel Johnson
Visitors are beautiful people.
My AA Recovery Story
I got sober in 1990 after a life of drug and alcohol addiction, and I had 15 wonderful years. Then I moved and left my homegroup behind. I didn't replace my sponsor, who had died. I didn't work with newcomers, and I went to only one meeting a week. Ultimately, I didn't stay sober. I experienced that strange mental twist, and I picked up. But I jumped back into the program, and my life has continually gotten better. I'm married to a man with 23 years of sobriety, and we work our program at home. AA is the hub the wheel of my life revolves around. I've been able to explore a creative side of my personality that once lived only under the influence of drugs. I have perfect moments during each of my precious days. We are none of us invulnerable to that strange mental twist that precedes the first drink, and all that stands between us and the drink is our constant thought of others. My prayer these days is: God, do your will in and through me today. If I can be an inspiration to others, then my life is rich. God bless you all.
Rosebud on Ice
If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. (Anne Bradstreet)