Sunday, March 6, 2011

More Craziness Than You’ve Dreamed Of

Insanity takes many forms, and I've seen some of them in my life, but the type of insanity that most affects me these days is this kind: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

More about this later. Right now, I have to offer you a poem. I’m taking a break from insanity to ride the World’s Greatest Poetry Bus. In honor of what Bus Driver Poet Peter Goulding claims is “one of the most important dates in the Roman Catholic calendar ~ Pancake Tuesday, named after the venerable St. Pancake,” I have done as Peter commanded and composed a ditty to the pancake. Peter also demanded that we write in the persona of a poet of our choice. I chose Joyce Kilmer and to satirize his famous poem “Trees.” If you’re inclined to read somewhat ridiculous poetry, we Bus riders will be linked here.

First, Kilmer's version. He was a brave soldier who lost his life in WWI.

By Joyce Kilmer

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Now my version:

I Think That I Shall Never See

A poem lovely as a pancake
Giving me a hearty handshake.
Against my hungry mouth is prest,
With butter flowing from its breast,
An angel’s golden halo round,
A saucer of the sweetest brown.
It makes me lift my hands to pray
But no, my fork is in the way.
I shall in homage always wear
A nest of pancakes in my hair.
Upon their bosom I have lain
While maple syrup falls like rain.
Poems are made by fools like me
But pancakes come from pancake trees.

Now back to the topic of insanity. In the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, you’ll frequently hear, “If you like what you’re getting, keep doing what you’re doing. If you don’t like what you’re getting, change what you’re doing.”

My injustice meter has been shrilling its alarm for quite a while. A heartbreaking development in my family since my mother died last summer has finally exploded like an alien in a scene from “Men in Black.” Purple alien blood goo drips from the walls.

Twisted events have twisted me and interfered with my serenity. I wiped some of the purple alien blood goo off my glasses today and found these lines in a book I love: “I can find no serenity until I accept that [disturbing] person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.”

Today’s realization is that I need to withdraw from the battlefield. I had wanted to right a wrong, but I was wrong. It’s time to recognize that I’ve become insane as I defined it in that paragraph up there.

It takes a lot of swallowing to give up. My faith that good will come of this is weak. My husband, who has gobs of faith that God will accomplish his plan for the situation we face, has asked me to stop trying. So I’ve decided I’ll lean on my faithful husband and let God do whatever he wants to do. I guess that shows the degree of my pride, because it implies that God needed my help. From now on, it’s hands off. Excuse me while I go wash off the rest of the purple alien blood goo.


Syd said...

I hear you. I do my best to believe that I am exactly where God intended me to be. Right at the moment all is okay.

RNSANE said...

The pancake poem is wonderful and I almost feel like cooking up a batch except that it's 1AM and I'm so sleepy and my eyes are droopy after watching three Netflix movies today.

As for the battle you've been waging, I guess you do need a break from it all and there should be peace in accepting you have done what you can. Leaving the rest up to God isn't a bad decision at all, my friend!

Peter Goulding said...

Your post possibly echoes your current state of mind, Chris. One extremely funny and hilarious post and then the seriousness of acceptance. And I know nothing about psychology but your poem had me in stitches!

NanU said...

I hope the lighter moments in life, like your clever pancake poem, help leaven the purple goo times.
Peace be with you.

Brian Miller said...

ha. love your that is a true lover of can try to fight the fact we are where we are supposed to does little for you as my last 2 years will testify...

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I have an AA friend who just lost her mom and her daughter in the same week.

Though I'm not sure about justice or fairness what I am sure about is that AA has gathered around my friend, that both her mom and daughter were very ill and no one should "have to" live like that, and that they are now cared for on a higher plane.

I'm glad you are starting to feel the grip loosen and you can grasp a new happiness and freedom!

Jeanne Iris said...

I love your ode to one of the world's most comforting breakfast foods: pancakes! My favorite line is "Angel's sweet golden halo round." A lovely image there.

My positive thoughts go with you. Yes, Divine Love surrounds us, moves us forward to clarify our vision.

Niamh B said...

Love the poem Oak, especially the ending.
Sounds like a tough time, life-wise, but good that you've made a decision, hopefully that'll help!

120 Socks said...

I love the idea of a pancake tree, and all that lovliness caught in your hair! Wonderful.

Indigo said...

Loved the pancake poetry.

As for insanity, I do believe I'm well versed in the matter (winks).

In all seriousness, sometimes things are quite frankly out of your hands. You can force people to think and act on something in like fashion. Sometimes they have to make their own mistakes and misery.

I have a favorite saying: Do what you will with the day in front of you. Each day holds a promise, it's up to us to live it. (Hugs)Indigo

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I understand this one infinitely, there was a huge disturbing and hurtful turn of events in our lives and I had to let go and understand that it was exactly as it was supposed to be and there was no correction I could was and still is heartbreaking, but I had to let go in order to have peace and serenity.
Much love and support to you.

Helen said...

Kilmer Kin ... we must sit next to each other on Peter's Bus!!! I loved this!

Monkey Man said...

You gave me a bit of a laugh today. Thanks. I needed it.

Magpie said...

Once we've made the mistake of bathing ourselves in the purple alien goo, how do we rid ourselves of the stain left behind even after we wash it off? I have been in a similar feeling situation of late and can't seem to rid myself of the stain I feel even after putting myself back on the right road. I'm so very thankful you have a faithful husband and God to lean on.

TAAAF said...

"But no, my fork is in the way"
- made me burst into delighted laughter. Thanks so much for your wonderful poem, and the reminder about acceptance.

Anonymous said...

I never have the right words. So, I'll just give you the cyber hug and trust that it's all going to be ok.


The Bug said...

I am SO GLAD I'm helping with my church's Shrove Tuesday pancake dinner - all these pancake poems are killing me! Yours was great, as usual.

I'm glad you're leaving the windmill alone - I think it will definitely be better for you in the long run.

izzy said...

Love your pancake poem ! Especially the
syrup and pancakes in your hair-wow-

I can relate to pushing our 'version' of things on others. I have been sponsoring 2 (of 3) women who are following their own version of suggestions...even though I have repeated things quite a few times.The insanity has bloomed and now I have to step back.Both have done quite a bit of work on their steps-it is time for me to just accept that they have a H.P. of their own and I am not it...

Zed said...

I love your poem. Pancakes were the first thing my little boy learnt to make, well crepes anyway. As a chef I was most impressed. I resonate to the words 'let go, let God.'Time to let go. It is exactly as it's supposed to be. Gods time is never our time. Not to be glib. Just to perhaps help. Big hug from afar. Zed (

Marion said...

"I shall in homage always wear
A nest of pancakes in my hair."...Loved the whole poem, but these lines stayed with me...seems to fit within these days.

I can't remember absolutely but are those lines on page 449 of a favourite book? I'm glad you've decided to wash off the rest of the purple alien blood goo!

Me, too.

TechnoBabe said...

Your version of the poem is great.
It takes a healthy and wise person to know when to let go, withdraw from the ruckus and bring back the serenity. Good for you that you and your husband are in tune and working together as a team in family situations.

Jinksy said...

Pancake trees are surely all part of God's Plan! And Yah! Boo! to purple goo... :)

Kat Mortensen said...

"A nest of pancakes in my hair" - That would be pretty unruly!
I love the idea of pancake trees; I've made two batches since we started this lark and it's not Tuesday yet!

Kilmer would be smiling, I'm sure.

Keeping you in my prayers,


marie said...

this post, your decision, made my heart smile with joy for you.

In addition to the one you mentioned, one of my other fav lines in that book is:

we have ceased fighting anything or anyone (damn, I hate it when that f'n book is

God bless you.

with love,

Domestic Oub said...

Wonderful poem, made me smile a lot.

Hang in there on the purple goo front. Sometimes when you least expect it, faith is rewarded.

Titus said...

Roared at the poem, especially

It makes me lift my hands to pray
But no, my fork is in the way.

and all the lines after it.

Isn't letting go the hardest thing? Keep your faith strong, and congratulations for washing.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Your poem made me smile , twice! That's not easily done! I want a pancake tre!!!
In the insanity room,
I also need to follow the advice that you are finding hard to follow.
Wish us luck somebody!

Steve E said...

Pride. Did you mention P R I D E ?? The Great Grandparent of all defectiveness, the root of all fear, of all sin, actually.

Even if pride takes a vacation, it is RIGHT back on the job--to kill me,
in too-short a time.

Yes, God will take care of it, and if it does not go my way, it was not supposed to. But I believe God wants me to defend myself if attacked. He will do for me what I CANNOT do for myself, right?

You are in our prayers, that you read Acceptance again, as I will do before I go to sleep...soon...ZZZZzzzzzzzz!


Marla said...

Alien family goo is the worst. You have made a wise choice. Wipe your glasses and lean on strong shoulders. It's not only smarter, it's safer.