Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Slug Bug No Slugbacks

This is one of those mornings when I am sluggish. You'll notice I posted one of my slug photos on the left, with an appropriately cheerful thought.
Sometimes sobriety means trudging in spite of feelings.
I checked out some fine blogs this morning in lieu of doing "useful things." Syd and Vicariousrising gave me lots of thoughtful moments.

My publisher canceled an assignment. I almost throttled my pet kittens. My Joe brought me a cuppa joe from Starbucks. I wrote a poem last night that I don't quite understand. I'm having difficulty sleeping. Yawn.


Things that are great: Eight of us women in recovery took a meeting yesterday to an alcoholic detoxing from a barbiturate addiction, and it was a beautiful meeting.


I took a sponsee to the beach and we looked at art, did her eighth step on the sand, ate oysters sober, and took in an open-mike poetry reading. My poem, "Codeine," drew laughter, much appreciated.


I haven't had a drink today, for many days, in fact.


My Joe and I work our program at home, and our marriage is a blessing.



Life is like a salad. There is all that scrumptious stuff plus the occasional stupid garbanzo bean and bitter raddiccio. I'm selecting a photo for this post that I took of a woman preparing a salad for the daily lunch her church serves the homeless.

I have too much to be thankful for to list. And I'm listless today, anyway.


I found Monkey Man's Sunday 160 challenge the other day. It's an ancronymical work, worth a yuck:

DUST


Damned if it is a measure of your worth that
U have more tchotchkes than books
Stultifying on your shelves, a reminder
That everything arises and returns to it.

I think I'll tear myself away from here and hit a meeting. It's attitude adjustment time.

But first here is my ode of sorts to the angry, sad contradiction the addict feels when doing drugs and trying to pray to a Higher Power. Using and praying are a strange juxtaposition. I drank and prayed so many times before I found Alcoholics Anonymous. Willingness and surrender were the keys. What a life I have been saved from!

Thanks for listening.


Codeine


Lord High God
(I prayed this prayer)
May we all be blessed on this day, with your peace, which passes all understanding
(This was to make him
feel good about himself
quoting his own words to him
as if they had meaning)
On this gloomy day, may we see the green hills, the chariots of clouds in the sky, the flowering trees, the golden trumpets of the daffodils, and as we see them, may we be filled with praise instead of snarly negativity.
(I was feeling bitchy
and I really choked up
on the “chariots of clouds” line
so I knew this one
was a really good one)
You are the Lord of the great clouds, you are the Great I Am, You are our precious Brother and Master and Friend.
(I think he likes
to be noodled with
this excessive naming
so I included it)
Forgive me for my poor attitude. Forgive me for the one dark blot, my soul’s dark spot, which you are cleansing not.
(Yuck, yuck
Honesty is always
the best policy. My aunt
says she has a healthy fear
of him and so should I)
Turn our agitation into constructive action, so that we may feel the glorious feelings that come with doing a good job with talent and grace. May we be a blessing to others we encounter today, and thank you for the blessing of medication
(I had dropped
three codeine tabs
and they were
taking effect, if
you know what I mean.
Sacrilegion didn’t
scare me & it
should have)


Chris Alba (c) 2009

8 comments:

Gin said...

I LOVE the poem! Raw and honest!

big Jenn said...

I'm lovin' your blog.I love your poem too.jeNN

Akannie said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog....this is great stuff, GF.

I lived in Arcata for 20 years more or less....I miss the central/northern California coast like someone has ripped my heart.

Before Arcta, I lived in Clearlake and Calistoga. Ah, the days....

I'm following you--not in a stalker kind of way--unless you force me to. LOL I loved reading your blog!

Annie

Madison said...

I really enjoy your honest blog. I think your poem is oh so true.

Syd said...

Great poem. You have a knack for writing. Glad that you figured out that I was a guy. I actually had to smile over it. Glad that you like slugs--their slime trails are fascinating. If only slimy humans were so easily detected.

Shadow said...

codeine is outstanding! the poem, i mean, heee heee heeee

there must be something in the air. i'm reading a lot of feeling not oneself posts today... but, it will pass, right?! right!

Dave King said...

A really interesting blog. Difficult, but I picked out two poems: Tracking and She Must Have Been a Masochist. Glad I found you - or rather, you found me!

Karen said...

I love this! Love the attitude! (but what does that say about me?)

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