Just when you think your efforts are futile and Nobody Is Listening, a speck of hope appears on the horizon. It gives you enough juice to keep on keeping on.
Back in the beginning of January, the church that allows us use of its space for monthly poetry readings had a special Epiphany celebration. To bring home the concept of wise men following the star to find enlightenment, the church had paper stars all over its walls. On each one was printed a word that its members were to ponder through the coming year. Even we poets were encouraged to pick a star off the wall to take home. This is what my star says:
Since my post before last about giving up, two different attorneys are pondering my mother's case. Whether anything comes of that, it doesn't matter. Just the fact of their interest right now is enough to keep me moving onward. It ain't over till the fat lady sings.
Life is sometimes like that. A situation bothers me and nothing seems to effect change, not prayer, not action, not consultation with experts or crystal balls. Plodding forward is dismal and takes more energy than I think I have.
Then the bright spot appears on the horizon. I'm reinfused with hope for change. Maybe the time isn't right, right now. Maybe I have more inner resources than I thought. Maybe the Creator is saying, "Not yet," or "Not that," or "Something else is coming down the pike, so strengthen those feeble knees and endure another day."
This has happened before. I often don't know how to pray or what to pray for, so I use my judgment and pray for what seems fair or good or pain-relieving. (Mostly pain-relieving!) But since I don't have a Master's in Omniscience, I'm not qualified to act like God. I forget that sometimes.
I guess that's why we're supposed to pray only for God's will and the power to carry that out.
13 comments:
glad to hear you have some interest in the case and yes, i tend to take control at times, and it always seems to end up in disaster...so i will take His will as well..
I always pray for what I want most, & then expect God's will to not be quite that (I'm a pessimist). But I really do think hoping for the best & preparing for what will probably happen is the best way to proceed in life.
This is good news that a couple attorneys are looking into the situation with your mother. As you say, whatever comes of it, you are encouraged. Your star is great. Endurance is sometimes so tough, it is just easier to give in and give up.
I forget too. Sometimes I get REALLY GOOD ideas and don't realize that I'm not God and so when those wonderful actions and ideas are accomplished I assume I'll feel better, I'll know more, I'll be more successful. Not necessarily the case. The experience is in the walking not the destination. I see God working in so many ways as I "try" to do good. It doesn't have to have perfect (jessie thinks it should result) results, it just has to show me that God exists, he's bigger than any of my thoughts or actions, and he is ultimately good and loving.
wow Chris, I'm touched by this post ... and I relate to many of what you wrote here ... I'm happy because I can sense some peace from your post :-) I'm happy for you!
That's encouraging about the attorneys! Good luck.
We must take action to move forward and continue on our paths, but sometimes outcomes aren't exactly as we wish. I hope this isn't the case this time.
pray for the best out come and listen listen listen, my star said sanctuary, I have yet to find that!
Di
carry on, as my mom would say.
Patience is a wonderfully, painful process, and sometimes we're rewarded at the end of that process. :)
Ah, you are going through the fire, and OH, I wonder at the beauty you will have when you come out on the other side.
Have you ever heard the Song "I Think I see Gold?" If you can find it, listen to it. I remember when those words held such peace and comfort for me and for my family.
Blessings over your heart, dear one.
"I guess that's why we're supposed to pray only for God's will and the power to carry that out."
I think so!
I pray to do God's will, and I pray for those I love, the sick and suffering, and those with whom I have difficulties. I feel so much better after my prayers.
very fitting photo...Hope is the thing with feathers,
that perches in the soul...Emily Dickinson
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