Sunday, July 4, 2010

Peace Is Boring?

In my writing room
beneath the shady sycamores
on a hot July day
my writhing head rests.
I summon the muse
but she sleeps like the dead.
Not even espresso
wakes her.

The famous blogger Monkey Man dreamed up the idea of the “Sunday 160” wherein one makes a statement in 160 characters counting periods and spaces between words.
(That explanation was in exactly 160 characters too.)
What people are able to say within the context of a text message is interesting. You can find them on the Monkey Man’s blog.

I haven’t had a real job for four years. My days consist of reading, writing, various projects, Alcoholics Anonymous activities, household chores, gardening, and managing the needs of my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. Every so often my lifelong dance with depression spins out of control and I have to get involved with psychiatric stuff.

Recovery from addiction has lent a structure to my life for 20 years. It influences my outer life, because I go to a lot of meetings, and it influences my inner life, because I’m mindful of how I interact with the world.

I’m saying these things because today I’m a little bored. There’s nothing on my agenda except dinner and fireworks tonight with my daughter and her significant other. The projects that have consumed my life lately either have been completed (like preparing my poetry manuscript and getting a novel ready for a workshop next month), or are in suspension because it’s Sunday (like the pursuit of justice for my mother).

I’d like to write a poem, but nothing is jostling around inside of me, looking for a way out. Nothing is jostling around in me at all.

And the outer world isn’t exactly clamoring for my attention. The things that give my daily life structure are all quiet today. Both inside and out, it’s…. boring.

I once called my AA sponsor and complained that life was boring. I didn’t like confessing that because I had told my daughter a thousand times that “boredom is the product of an unimaginative mind.”

My sponsor told me that perhaps I was experiencing the lack of drama, chaos, resentment, and fear. In fact, maybe I was feeling PEACE for the first time in my life.

I guess I’m at peace today. I hope you are too. I think I'll go practice gratitude for feeling at peace by doing a little work in the garden.


Brian Miller said...

enjoy that peace while you got it...i tend to get restless myself when the world is at peace too much...sounds like a good day for a walk or just communing with that peace out in nature...but thats just me...nice 160

moondustwriter said...

I understand the need to write - no options
Sometimes i wonder if we strive too hard. We are after all our own worst critics.

join us 9Brian Pete and I) for an adventure to encourage the writer and the muse. We need each other I am convinced. I am inspired by others like you.

One shot Wednesday if nothing else will be an outlet for poets to meet and encourage each other.

hope to see you

moon *love*
thanks for coming to visit my site

Alice Audrey said...

Sometimes holidays are lonelier for me than regular days because I'm sitting here surfing and empty web while everyone else is out doing things.

Monkey Man said...

Nothing wrong with a bit of peace even if the muse is silent. Love your Sunday 160 thanks for bringing your talent to the table and happy Fourth.

e said...

I've had a day full of that peace and it is a wonderful thing!

I hope your garden was a haven for you today...

Happy 4th!

PattiKen said...

I'm glad you are at peace with nothing jostling around. Peace is a good place to be.

P.S. Your writing room is exquisite!

marie said...

wow, you have described exactly what I am feeling today - a whole lot of nothing, which makes me uncomfortable because I also struggle constantly with my depression. And your first paragraph describes my life to a tee, only I haven't worked in one year and rather than having a mother to look after I have small children. Sobriety can be boring for me unless I am working with newcomers (smiles). Peace to you on this 4th of July.

Lisa said...

My computer was broken for a month and I have not been doing Magpie Tales or reading blogs...yours was one I missed. Then BAM!!! In 160 characters nonetheless, you hooked me right back in. That naughty little muse. How she hides from us or pushes us to go where we at times we fear to tread. Great post. :) Happy 4th of July!

lakeviewer said...

Yes, being bored is not so bad!

Marla said...

I get this, Chris. Why is it that a lack of chaos is uncomfortable for me? Crazy stuff....

Anonymous said...

Really liked your 160! It spoke for a lot more than the 160 characters... LOVELY!
Peace ain't boring..its simply peaceful...
Enjoy it while it lasts :)

Have a lovely week ahead... beneath the sycamores, in your writing room, reading and writing some lovely stuff.. ENJOY!

Scott said...

I sometimes become alarmed when "nothing is going on inside me." I was always so accustomed to chaos and upheaval that a quiet dsay was alomst worse than a stressful day. I've begun to come to accept and even relish those "bored" days once in a awhile. I have begun to discover that a writer has been quietly lurking within me for awhile now. It feels wonderufl to press myself to release some of what is in there. But I think that osmetimes, I must allow myself to be still and turn off for awhile and just be.

great post Chris!

Pete Marshall said...

I loved your 160, everything about it just evoked so much...i need peace i am a hyper manic when i am on fire by god i am on fire & when i am down I am awful..peace, complete peace, gives my mind nothing except me and i like that..thanks for your piece cheers Pete

Syd said...

I like peace but often have no soapbox to climb on when things are going well. Enjoy the peace!

Syd said...

Peace is a great thing. I do feel that when things are serene there no soap box for me to be on and no need fir ranting. Today all is peaceful.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Fine poem Chris, but what a fantastic place to write!! Is that really yours?
I'm 40 shades of green with envy!