These are days that try my soul. Why would God afflict a woman who loved Him with a terrible case of dementia? Why would He give her a healthy body and disinegrating brain?
As she struggles in the new care home, wetting herself, endlessly pacing without sleep, thinking whatever fragments of thoughts are allowed through that mind, I struggle with deepening depression. It is Spring, life is good, there is much that is fine. But my mom is so ill. It's an oppression that follows me wherever I go.
My cat Mystery is interested in life. She wonders nothing about the inequities or spiritual conundrums that plague me. This morning I am doing a 2nd step with a sponsee. I praise my creator for lifting me out of the depths of insanity in which I dwelt for 37 years. I show Him my fist in memory of Mom.