Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Fake Accents & Other Garden Tips

My Cecil Brunner rose runs rampant, scenting the air.
Gardening tip for growing this rose:
Give it lots of neglect.

I caught myself in the garden doing something really silly: Talking to myself in my idea of a British accent.

There I was, productively doing maintenance work: Trying to fix a sprinkler head, pulling the oxalis that was taking over the dahlia bed, failing to fix the sprinkler head, digging a damn hole around it to get it unscrewed, getting a new sprinkler head, installing it and checking the stupid thing, yanking up more of that bloomin' oxalis ... and all the while talking nonsense in a fake accent.


Maybe that fake accent is part of me. Maybe that's why Mom's eye surgeon (Dr. Rashid, not native born), asked if I were from Australia.

I've never lived outside the lower half of California, for Pete's sake. Blimey!

I told my daughter about this discovery of mine, and her response was ho-hum. "You always do that, Mom," she said. "I always found you bent over and whispering yourself." Doesn't that paint a pretty picture?

Well, the fact is, babbling to myself out loud in an accented voice, talking about this and that, may keep me from cursing and from quitting out of exhaustion. I would like to curse the damn gopher that ate my dahlia this past winter, I would like to curse the dad-gum sprinkler head, I would like to stop stooping over to pull endless oxalis out of the soil.

But I keep at it, with this imaginary Englishwoman blithering on in my head.

So my gardening tip for today is: Talk to yourself while doing chores in the garden, and do it in a fake accent. Trust me. It works.

Do you talk to yourself? Tell me I'm not the only one who does it. What about the accent? Anybody out there pretending to be somebody else when you talk to yourself? What if you walked up to someone busily talking to herself: Would you think she was nuts?


the walking man said...

Seeing as I let whatever grows in the yard be the garden I have no need to tend it and ergo no one to talk to or hear from when I don't garden.

Karen said...

Confession time! The bus challenge to record our work has me talking to myself! I've been reciting my latest poem over and over in the car, trying to get my voice just right - not the phrasing, not the emphasis - just my screechy old voice! I've tried using my high-pitched voice, my normal voice, my speaking-in-public voice, and even my normal voice and accent with an exaggerated hick accent. After all that, I've decided that I cannot, absolutely cannot record my voice. At least it kept me amused on my commute!

Syd said...

Generally, the only time that I talk to myself is when I'm angry at myself or someone else. And it isn't in a accent other than the one that God gave me. Maybe there is a reincarnated English woman inside you.

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

Oh, jolly boating weather, I do say!! For some strange reason I also have a hitherto unconfessed habit of talking to myself in a pseudo-Brit accent. Can't think of any reason, but I am glad to know I am not the only one. I guess there was too much Monty Python in my formative years ...

Brian Miller said...

yes, but i dont always like what i say...smiles.

Prayer Girl said...

Does talking to the people on the television set or the radio count as talking to myself? :)


Kristin H. said...

I think it's near impossible to be surrounded by European influence and not want to channel our inner Brit.

I remember after Notting Hill came out, I felt compelled to use the term "bugger" every chance I could. And it only sounds right if used with an accent.

So no. There is nothing out of the ordinary about your behaviour.

(See? I'm even drawn to the British spelling of words...)

TechnoBabe said...

Hubby and I do accents to each other all day long, different and thick. From all over the world. We think we're funny. Of course everyone talks to themselves. Usually because others don't listen but what the heck. I tend to talk to myself out loud when I am stressed or having a problem with something. But I don't apologize for it, no sirreee!! I think your British accent stint is bully!

Magpie said...

Yes, I too talk to myself usually in the kitchen while cooking and it's a French accent. :)

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I talk to myself all the time...not in accents mind you but I do have dialogue in spanish, I know the language and will answer otehrs and myself in sounds much nicer that way LOL!

Great post, so true and no, I think it's normal to channel our inner peeps...:-)


Tari said...

I talk to myself, but not in an accent. I also sing along to the radio if I'm alone in the car. :-)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Channeling your inner mary poppins!

I soooooo do talk to myself. I talk in accents and silliness.

Anne of Green Gables created elaborate conversations between flowers, so I've decided it's a creative mind workin' it out. After all Anne is a wonderful reflection of beauty and Grace (ahem) albeit a bit clumsily at times so there's hope for me! :)

I'm content with the woman that I am today, cartoon characters, silly conversations, singing goofball and dancing in the rain.

Nana Jo said...

I do, and I've been talking to myself even more frequently since my husband has been away ... out of loneliness, I tell myself. I also sometimes use made-up words when I do it. As for the accent, jolly good ... you're just channelling your inner Virginia Woolf.

chitowngreg said...

I know what you mean about the roses. Somehow or another, all the plants we buy from nurseries struggle and die and the one's we get from Home Depot thrive forever. I guess if a plant can make it through Home Depot, there's nothing we can do to mess it up!

RNSANE said...

No, Chris, I don't talk to myself but I do swear a lot at the universe when I get irritated or when I get a farkle on my favorite facebook game. I don't swear at driver's, though. It's all in Southern belle English!

lakeviewer said...

I already have an accent!

steveroni said...

Talk to myself? Who? Me? What was that, you said? OH! There's nobody here but me, so maybe I AM talking to myself!

Now...if only I could remember what I said! Oh well, like your dear Mother (and I mean that!) I can still smile and laugh--grin!

Blessings to you AND your voices!

GrammyMouseTails said...

Yup, talk to myself all the time.. since childhood I believe? don't know about accents? but I do have a habit of talking in accents around other people who DO have accents... I start talking like them, or in some cases bad choppy English! Enjoying my first visit here. Love you garden (&tips) and poems. Found you doing a WW round. I would love to have your rose, one plant I can never grow, and the sweet pea above, too!
Faythe @GMT

gregj said...

I spent a year in Monterrey, CA in the Army. I loved that part of the country.

It's probably the English mysteries that you read where you get that accent. I find myself doing it sometimes.

evalinn said...

That´s a great tip! ;-)

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