Friday, May 14, 2010

Rocky Relationship Flash 55

Can you see the screaming skeleton's face in this rock?



Relationship Trouble


When you say I don’t meet your expectations
I want to tear out my hair and ululate
like women do in the East, to show you
there is a death
and it is me you have killed.

Here is my body. Here is my blood.
Take and eat. It is given for you.


********

This is a Friday Flash 55, a tale told in exactly 55 words. It’s hosted by the G-Man, Mr. Knowitall, and you’ll find dozens of creative storytellers on his blog today.
*
The first part of this poem was a little statement I felt like making one day, on behalf of a friend with a relationship problem (it's not autobiographical). I added the closing lines (traditionally spoken by the pastor during Holy Communion) to make it 55 words. Then I went looking for an appropriate photo from my files. I chose the rock surface, not seeing the skeletal face until I embedded it in my post. Synchronicity at work?



30 comments:

anthonynorth said...

Powerful and emotional. Not a nice position to be in.

RNSANE said...

Tear his hair out instead!

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

I can hear the ululation, Chris. The face is eerie. More than a skeleton, it at first struck me as a Jesus face (bearded). The last two lines seem to drive that home, too.

Have a nice weekend and may any relationship troubles be confined to fiction and 55 words!

Hootin' Anni said...

Well, I can't 'see' the skeleton...but with your title and your 55, I can SEE there IS trouble afoot!!

My 55 for the week, is HERE As always, scroll down past my Friday's Show n Tell to find it. Have a glorious day.

Karen said...

Whoa! This is powerful. Very evocative imagery! The unexpectedness of the eucharistic words here add a shock and power to the poem.

Chef Kar said...

I have learned a new word today. Expectations are such a tricky and difficult thing to deal with in relationships. What a pity when they are set too high. Loved the picture, and yes, I saw the scream. The skeleton was ululating. Nice job.

I'm up at:
Friday Flash 55 ~ Silvia's Smile

Brian Miller said...

wow. some intense imagery, with a dash of sacred...nice 55.

Jasmine said...

Powerful! Have a wonderful week end.

sheri... said...

i could be serious wrong but i don't know if many men will understand this place of trouble in which you write. your depth and insight is amazing but pale in comparision to your skill of writing something so powerful in so few words! awesome 55...

g-man said...

Wow Chris!!!
There is much more here than meets the eye!
Excellent 55 My Dear.
Thanks for this awesome contribution...You Rock!
Thanks for visiting, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...Galen

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Well this particular vivid and beautiful 55 is really how I feel and who I am today.

The last couple weeks have been a little tough. Last night got a little tougher, and today I'm working through to the wives and family afterward again personally to see what I can bring to the relationship that I haven't been.

Thank you for writing it. It helps to see that people have experienced these trials and changes too.

TechnoBabe said...

For me, I don't particularly care if I meet anyone's expectations or not.
Not saying it in a cold way. But someones expectations are theirs alone. For me, I try not to have any expectations. I choose to deal with reality and the now. But for writing a 55, the writing is great because I know it is fiction, and great fiction at that.

Jingle said...

powerful message,
when one speaks, one does need to be gentle with disagreement.
lovely 55.
Happy Friday!

Prayer Girl said...

This is so powerful that I find it hard to find the words I want to say.

Just know I am touched by this 55.

PG

Magpie said...

Painfully powerful!!
Happy Friday!

Helen said...

Yes, I certainly do see that skeleton's face! Is it because I want to? Or is it really there? Loved your words today ~ powerful.

Monkey Man said...

You nailed that feeling. Awesome 55.

Syd said...

I understand totally.

PattiKen said...

Wow, this is so powerful. But I say, pull his hair out instead.

Enchanted Oak said...

Whoa, as Karen says! Thank you for your powerful comments!
Love, Chris

Titanium said...

This is vivid, written with such clarity of voice and gut-wrenching anguish. Having rocked and screamed through a night or two, I can both hear and feel this woman's pain.

drybottomgirl said...

Wow! Great 55, I could see the scream and this reminds me of all the relationships I had before I was married! I always gave it all away---what a wasted sacrifice. Have a great weekend!

lakeviewer said...

Uhh! How dare he?

Gabriella Moonlight said...

This 55 personally affected me, I have felt this way and I have had this feeling for many times in my life and the past year I have wavered between this and the feeling of letting go and letting god...thank you for the beautiful 55...much like you it's evocative, amazing and full of wonder and mystery.

gregj said...

thank you for the new word that I learned today.

I feel like doing that often, but not regarding a person

Leslie said...

I caught the body and the blood at the end it fit so perfectly - all of it has that flow

thanks for the visit - Happy Weekend

Moondustwriter

Woman in a Window said...

This is so fricken powerful. Powerful. And even this doesn't seem to be enough.

xo
erin

steveroni said...

So glad this is not autobiographical!

But even so, this is SERIOUS stuff! Love "ululate"...I did it once, when I jumped and ran barefoot through an old barely submerged oyster bed! Alone on that small, sandy island, I ululated all through the night!
REALLY! True.

I looked into the Gulf of Mexico waters, and said, "This is my blood!" (This statement Not true!)

evalinn said...

Powerful!

Thom said...

Very powerful and deep my friend. Especially with that photo added. Well done :)

Albert Einstein Quotes