Friday, January 14, 2011

Serenity Took a Hike

The Enchanted Oak’s household has had a week of fun and games, yessireebob. The roles of clandestine medical investigator, procrastinating freelance journalist, pissed-off computer user, and perplexed pain sufferer all neatly dove-tailed into an MRI machine on Monday and a giant-sized pity pot the rest of the week.

This is my backbone.

I hurt all over. Couldn’t move my head from side to side, couldn’t walk without electric shocks, couldn’t even type, thanks to swollen hands that buzzed as if they had been asleep for years. I was not at all serene about any of it.

So what does a good sober person do? Don’t ask me, because I didn’t do it. Instead, I went to bed. Stopped eating, drinking, moving, attempting to make my copy deadline. Turned off the phone. Cancelled all appointments except the one appointment I didn’t want to keep, the one with my doctor to “discuss the results of the MRI”…oh, what an ominous sound! I just knew I had a fast-moving malignant spinal tumor from hell and would be dead in weeks if not days. I told you I was sick!

Ah, but I was spared. My spine is just degenerating. Things could be worse. But I went back to bed anyway because it pissed me off. Then a couple of friends came over yesterday, caught me with my bed-head hair and my p.j.s., and told me to shape up. I said thanks and kicked them out. Then I got dressed and went to an AA meeting.

This morning I woke up pain-free. How do you like them apples? I likes them just fine. So I decided to write a 55-word poem about the ordeal and the redemption of friends, just because the G-Man hosts his Flash Friday 55 today.

The doctor said my problem had no cure;
Its consequences and its pain I must endure ~
Pain pervasive, electric, downright hideous
Making harmless motions most insidious,
Thanks to a backbone suddenly perfidious:

When isolation was my intention,
My friends performed an intervention.
Their deep concern caught my attention
And sparked my outlook’s swift ascension.


The Bug said...

Well your good humor is definitely intact. I'm sorry you're suffering - & glad you relieved ours by posting!

Marion said...

I love it when pain takes a hike after days of agony. I'm so sorry about your degenerating spine. I have osteo in my spine and feet and the pain is excruciating at times, mostly weather related.

"And sparked my outlook’s swift ascension."...great positive ending!

Brian Miller said...

ugh...sounds like you had a beast of the week...and they cant do anything?

Paul C said...

How wonderful that your friends rallied in support. Enjoy all those three syllable rhymers.

Monkey Man said...

Look at you all rhymie and everything. The back sounds painful hope it becomes tolerable.

G-Man said...

So you really DIDN"T want to be alone?
Whatever....The 'Funk' seems to have departed!
Chris, whether you feel it or not, I really miss your witty 55's.
I just Love seeing your avatar in my comment box.
I sure hope tomorrow is a pain free day as well.
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End....G

Magpie said...

I'm so glad you have persistent friends. Glad you're up and about now...stay that way!

Kristin H. said...

(Kristin stands and applauds)

Now go get a massage.

Mama Zen said...

Hope you stay pain free!

e said...

I am so sorry to hear'll treasure the pain-free days, and as others have said, your humour and good sense as well as friends and loved ones will see you through the rest.

Don't you ever just wish life wasn't such a bumpy ride?

Argent said...

Hooray for such good friends. I enjoyed your light sponge-cake of a poem very much. (sponge cake is a good thing, by the way).

Rachel Fox said...

Well, sounds like whatever you did it did the trick.

Yvonne Osborne said...

Oh, that picture makes my back hurt too! Hope you're better and dressed and moving and writing and working. The pity pot is as bad as the porcelain one, no good place to hang one's head.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

YUCK, glad that week's over. On to more positive and wondrous discoveries in the world!

Gwei Mui said...

Totally relate - is there something in the air me wonders that's affecting people's health. I had several trips to the quack recently the last one just as successful as yours lol. Here's to you and having a sense of humor :)

hope said...

As long as no one steals your sense of humor, life will work out. At least that's what I tell myself on Monday mornings as I head into the office. :)

Seriously, sorry you're in pain but glad that you've decided not to let it win. Here's a [gentle] hug to help you through the day.

Andrew said...

I'm glad to see your sense of humour is intact!

I can relate somewhat with osteo arthritis setting in all over the place, not to mention the broken collar bone I acquired yesterday.

Nana Jo said...

You know, sometimes I love pajama, bedhead days.

Your poem is so clever. I'm glad part of your redemption involves your readers, too!


Kim A. said...

Not only did you make lemonade out of created a magnificent lemon meringue pie. I am encouraged by your perseverance and strength of faith. I have the same funny bone as you do. It has saved me more than once. Take care, be careful, and care for yourself, dear.


Titus said...

Loved it! Final four lines magnificent - that's no easy rhyme to get sense and significance into.

And love and strength re the rest. Don't mean go back to bed though...

Syd said...

Glad to see you back. Thanks for stopping by. I have some mild scoliosis in my lower back that sometimes gives me pain but nothing like what you describe.

Dianne said...

hey, what was that about....
reject selfishness, fear, resentment and dishonesty????????????

see, I'm listening and reading,
I think you faced your fear, received an invitation from friends to reject resentment, climbed out of bed with unselfishness and found your body responding to the much-needed rest and honesty with ....courage wisdom and serenity.
Hmmm, have I mentioned my meditation experiences?

Scott said...

so sorry to hear you're struggling Chris... I will include you in my prayers. Thank God for AA friends, eh? (of course, this was probably the last thought from your mind when they showed up to enjoy your bed-hair!)
I love your 55!

Be well!

Albert Einstein Quotes