Saturday, November 13, 2010

This Is Me on Steroids


The treatment for my pneumonia requires that I take steroids along with antibiotics and inhalers. I seem to have a lot of energy, and I am in a really good mood. Here’s what I do on steroids:

Write a 2,500-word brief for a law professor that a) details the civil-rights violations of hospitalized Alzheimer victims, and b) advocates enforcement of state and federal self-determination laws by imposing punitive measures against medical facilities for violations. Compile copies of the pertinent regulations, rejoice that the guy is interested, and send the package off.

Indulge in an act of shoe repair to mend my favorite slippers.

Cross-examine an old friend, via email, who has retired to a sailboat in Mexico and fallen in love. Quiz him at length about her, the circumstances, and the emotional/philosophical conditions of falling in love with a stranger.

Make yet another attempt to concentrate on my overdue writing assignment about local charity programs during the holiday season.

Wander in the garden with the pruning shears, investigating the whereabouts of two praying mantises that live in the dahlias.

Query the family corporate attorney about the legal interpretation of certain provisions in my parents’ trust, comparing the instructions to the actual intentions of my parents.

Stand in the middle of my sunroom office and whirl my arms in big circles because it feels great.

Have AA meetings on the phone with sober friends. Explore big issues like spirituality in marriage, how to pursue a goal, and the best way to treat a sore throat.

Cope with a bedtime panic attack, afraid I’ll stop breathing in my sleep. Wake my husband to warn him of my impending death and remind him where I keep all our essential papers. Ask him to stay awake and keep me breathing. Forgive him when he chuckles and goes back to sleep.

Make a little autumn bouquet and ride into town with a friend to put it on my mother’s new headstone, taking a photo to send to out-of-town family.

Stay on top of respiratory treatments and medications. Check for improvement with my new lung-exercise toy.

Eat a gloriously crisp Braeburn apple. Then grab a few Cheetos for nutritional balance.

Tackle that overdue writing assignment again. Try to write a lead paragraph. When that fails, take the beagle for a walk. Ponder my upcoming 56th birthday. Laugh at the falling leaves. Thank God for my life.

20 comments:

glynis said...

I thought I was the only one who reacted to steroids that way..I laughed all through reading this. :)

Helen said...

I'm exhausted just reading this ~ pass the steroids please.

Susan said...

*grinning* I did the steroid routine lately for several weeks... I wasn't NEARLY as perky... more grumpy. You go girl. and don't you dare quit breathing in your sleep. =)

Indigo said...

Wow! I'm tired just reading this list. Bronkaid is an over the counter medicine that has the same effects. Dries up fluid in your lungs and makes you feel like you're on speed. I have my days.

We forgive the hubby's for thinking breathing is overrated and then comes the day they get sick and turn into whimpering kids. (Hugs)Indigo

Carrie Burtt said...

Well, you gotta have cheetos to survive!...And yes panic attacks and steroids can go hand in hand....hope you have a great weekend, and get some rest! :-)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes, thank god for your life.And please hold onto it!The Pneumonia is back? That's terrible.You seem to be coping/ healing really well though. That's mighty impressive, you must have a terrific deep core of vital life energy that keeps you going, sorts you out. Thank god for that too!
Wishing you well,
Peadar.

Terra said...

You are VERY productive as you heal, some things you mention are cute and some are serious. Whirling your arms in big circles paints a fun picture for me.

Karen said...

Ah, steroids! Just wait till you grow a mustache and start talking like Awnold! He, he!

Truly, I wish you well and rid of that p-neumonia soon, soon, soon! Meanwhile, keep being so productive and you'll put us all to shame!

Dianne said...

hey you already know that stuff is as hyped as speed it's a manic attack double time.

love you, see ya at Poet's night?
or Poetry Festival?
Di

nsiyer said...

Many happy returns for the upcoming 56th birthday.
Steroids are good for the present and make you buoyant. But they say it has after effects like damaging critical parts like the kidney and the liver. Pl. check.

Rachel Fox said...

My man chuckles at me too - his favourite line is "always look on the bright side, eh?"
x

TechnoBabe said...

Great picture in your header. You are multi-talented. So glad you are energetic.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

All that wonderful stuff and my head goes "Mmmm cheetos" LOL

Have a great day!

Myrna R. said...

Well, I don't envy the pneumonia, but I could use a few steroids. My energy level does not compare to yours.

Stay healthy.

Magpie said...

Wow! That was a whirlwind ride. I'm glad you found the time for the really important stuff...spinning in circles because you're happy, walking the beagle, eating cheetos to balance your diet and breathing. Keep up the good work. :)

e said...

I'm so glad you're healing and in a great mood...I hope you enjoy your birthday and have many more!

Gwei Mui said...

Good grief! I am exhausted so god only knows what you must be feeling!

The Bug said...

I'm eating cheetos right now! AND I've had a very productive day, sans steroids. Braeburns are my favorite apple, but I have a hard time finding them when they're still good. Or maybe they never are in Ohio.

LisaC said...

Earlier this year I went through a cycle of steroids due to a serious cough that would not clear; and I felt great! It was about 3 months into the ending of my marriage, and I told a friend, "Gosh, I feel like the old days. Before my husband left, before my son became addicted to drugs. This is great! I must be better! I look back and laugh now because it was definitely the steroids!

Syd said...

It sounds like some of my days, minus the steroids. I often have more energy than people half my age. Take care of yourself.

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