Killing My Cat

This perfect morning
with sunlight turning leaves
into green stained glass
and with dew trembling
on the grass

brings with it thoughts
of a downed redwood
riding an ocean
of moss and a tall mast
rising from it

the new tree is slender
an idea not yet formed
but it rises in the dusk
from the belly of the boat
in the pure silence
of the forest

and my old cat
on this green morning
trembles like a gray leaf
on a twig caught
in that final moment
before it flutters to the
forest floor.

It is a kindness
to gather her in my arms
for the last loving
terrible thing
but nonetheless
tears seep like rain
in the forest

*******

I read in Syd's blog of his attempts to find something his old friend will eat, and it made me think of my old Asher cat. She grew thinner and thinner, unable to hold anything down even if it appealed to her to eat it.

That final morning, when I had made the decision to take her in for our last journey together, she sat on the couch and watched the outdoors. She was wobbly and thin, dehydrated, but still interested in the outdoors. It broke my heart to gather her up and go to the vet's.

And as things happen in God's world, within days my aunt had found four abandoned young kittens, which she nursed by bottle until they could lap. With my heart heavy, I visited the kittens and said I would think about it.

Three weeks later, I brought home the two female kittens, Katie Cat and Mystery. They've been a source of much laughter these past few months as they get used to the beagles and life here in the household.

One door closes and another opens. I'm grateful that life goes on, with beauty and joy in it, despite the tears and sorrows that weigh on us.